Our vox-pop category today takes a look back to where most people began their first ever foray into love and relationships – school, especially in the university. According to a recent survey, 7 out of every 10 students in the University are in a relationship. This shows that a lot of ‘romantic’ activities happen within campus, but what we are examining is if these relationships ever make it outside the walls of campus and survive. Popular belief is that they rarely do, and we are now asking; why do University relationships rarely get to marriage?
Social Media Commentator and Expert, Olanrewaju Olubukola Ozone is once again at the helm of our Vox-Pop, and he helped gather a number of quality opinion from social media. A number of people believe most of the relationships fail because of distance, some others think it is because of separation caused by NYSC. You can also get to contribute to this topic and share your opinion on why University Relationships rarely last till marriage.
Olanrewaju Olubukola ‘Ozone’s original post went thus:
I used to have a friend back in the days who was head-over-heels in love with his then girlfriend. They met when he was in 200 level and she was in 100 level. I remember how I did envy their relationship and what they shared.I nearly fainted when I heard they were no longer together. I asked him and he said things started changing when he graduated and eventually changed completely when she went for service. He said the only thing they could agree on was to part ways.
Brings me to this question; Why do most relationships from schools, universities precisely, never get to marriage even though they appeared they would?
First, let’s sample some of the opinion we gathered from our Social Media contributors:
Oluwatobi Olayinka
Hmmm….Well, some relationships that started in school end up in marriage, because i’ve seen so many. I would say that the success of a relationship (before and after wedding) depends on the two parties. Note: the two parties, not of one of them. It does not depend on when and where it started. #myopinion‘Kenny Disu
When a relationship starts with constant physical connection in terms of seeing almost on a daily basis and suddenly distance sets in, as in the case of NYSC, trust soon starts becoming an issue. The level of physical intimacy drastically reduces and other things follow.GlowVille Olumide Lawrence
School relationships most often than not are built on infatuations, and maybe because you get to see the person as often as you would love to. These relationships sometimes do not have a strong foundation and therefore breaks apart the moment the relationship enters into unfamiliar territories of distance, communication gap, trust, money, and time. Like the first person said; it takes two to tango. Love is a decision, not a luxury.Abayomi Oluwasegun Elijah
I agree with Kenny Disu. I would say ladies brain run on a constantly running processor. You need to input, format and input again; which means you will be telling them that you love them in different ways everyday. This is easy in School cos you get to see each other constantly without spending much. Once you get out of school and you don’t speak much often, you don’t see each other, often there is probability for the relationship to break.Olusegun Davids
Even the sweetest chocolates have an expiry date, you know what am saying? It takes miracle to stick to the same old thing. Only a very few with a church mind cruise through with the help of providence cos’ we’ve seen childhood lovers that grew old together too. NB: They attended the same school throughout.Olanipekun TW
I believe that’s one of the reason its advisable not to get into a relationship at the early year (s) of your time in school. Say in 100 or 200 level. Though some succeed even with this, but majority of such relationships don’t. It’s also important to know the foundation upon which the relationship is built. If it’s wrongly laid, it will fall, sooner or later and the beauty of such relationship notwithstanding.Adesoro Segun Emmanuel
The only one I ever knew was successful was that of my eldest brother who is now blessed with a baby boy last 2weeks Thursday. Lack of Trust for one another is the only reason why such relationship won’t end up in marriage… Distance is not an excuse.Babatunde Naphtali Omosebi
They never progress to marriage because the foundation is almost always built on fantasies and not realities, then when the reality of life stares them in the face, na poof! #OneOfManyReasonsAkeredolu Samuel Oluwatomisin
Well, I believe no relationship is all about sunshine, but true love should encourage you to grow and not otherwise. Most of these school stuffs are borne out of the desire to have a companion while in school and not for any tangible commitment, especially for guys. Sadly, along the lane, trust issues do set in and we know trust is one of the most important ingredient in building a solid foundation of a relationship. Their level of maturity, tolerance and comprehension also matters a lot for such union to be ultimately sustained over time.Oluwasegun John Adedoyin
This is what happened to me early this year when my woman of 7yrs courtship said we need to part ways after going to Jigawa for her orientation camp and presently serving there as well. Although it may be due to unforeseen circumstances but the lesson I learnt is that you shouldn’t stay too long in a courtship before going to alter because it sometimes get boring.Ogochukwu Ejikeme Julia
Sometimes, these relationships last long just because both or one party have not seen a serious reason to break it off, even when you know things are just not right. you guys get along really well and the world thinks you are the epitome of a perfect relationship, but the truth is that either party would not want to be the heart breaker. This is the case when one person seem more in love with the other, or just that both parties have different objectives in the relationship.Oluwasuji Toba
Another point is that, both parties refuse to grow together. We all have different dreams and aspirations. When one is pursuing an immediate plan, another is trying to explore other choice. They end up being world apart in terms of dreams and aspirations.Binbol Wilson
In my own view, l think undergraduate students live by means of money they draw from their parents and other members of their family. As soon as they finish from school, no one is ready to continue to bear responsibility on them. Therefore they wake up to reality. If you can continue to pay her bills, there is likely to be no problem. But if you cannot, a fallout is an easy way out. Beside this, l think most unmarried undergraduate couples already know that the relationship is not likely to end in marriage. They only console themselves with the fact that it wont last forever. It is just for the remaining years they have got to spend together in school.Cindric Sacha Valeri
‘Because we make those decisions while we were but young. Love is not all that sustains a relationshipTosin Ayo
Because most guys go out with ladies who are their elder brothers’ wives. Their own wives are yet to write UTME. Your classmate is often times not your marriage mate.Ajayi Abiodun Olugbenga
Hmmmm… Relationships are not meant for boys and girls, they’re meant for two matured minds. This is one of the things students failed to realize while in school…To carve it all, starting a relationship early while in school does not determine the success of the relationship but the sustenance of it is the most important they don’t know. If the guy is not ready to keep up to standard with the lady, definitely the lady will lose out on him. If there is something l can say about most of our ladies, I will say they’re gullible, pretentious and money chasing organisms.Sokolate Prince
It’s common reasoning. Most of graduate and don’t get a job immediately. The relationship needs money to flourish…..you see where I’m going with this?Source Glowville
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