Married women are having affairs, some women anyway. Men are more likely to cheat but, we can’t overlook the fact that women are quickly catching up and are becoming just as prone to have sex outside of marriage as men.
If you are a man whose wife cheated, this is no surprise to you, right? What might surprise you is the reasons women cheat. There can be differences in the reasons each gender chooses to go outside the marriage for sex.
Below are 12 reasons some women cheat:
1. She was searching for an emotional connection: Women are more likely to feel lonely in marriage and an emotional disconnect in marriage. This can be a motivating factor for their infidelity.
2. She was thinking about leaving and needed somewhere to go: If she was unhappy with the marriage and wanted to divorce, she didn’t leave until she had someone new to go to. For some women, it’s a matter of emotional and financial security. They need a replacement unit before getting rid of the husband they already have.
3. She longed to be desired by a man: A woman married to a man who doesn’t look at her, communicate with her and has no interest in sex with her, is more likely to find someone to show interest in her as a sexual being. We hear a lot about sexless marriage from men but, women can find themselves in the same situation and due to sexual starvation make the choice to go outside the marriage to feel sexually desired.
4. She had a natural curiosity about other men: If a woman marries young or, marries the only man she has had sex with, as time goes on she may develop a curiosity about what it would be like to have sex with other men.
5. She lost interest in sex with you: Her sexual attraction to you was missing in action. She longed for sex, just not with you. Ouch! Relationship problems can take a toll in the bedroom and cause a woman to think, “ick” at the idea of having sex with a husband they aren’t happy with.
6. She began to view you as weak: If you gave into her every demand, capitulated on every issue that came up, don’t be surprised that your wife lost respect for you. Women don’t want to be controlled and they don’t want to control a husband. Women are strong, they want a husband who can match that strength.
7. She cheated because you cheated: Two wrongs don’t make a right but, some women may feel that cheating on a cheater is divine retribution. An “eye for an eye” type of response to their husband’s bad behavior.
8. She met a man who had more to offer: Women crave security, both financially and emotionally. If she met a man who could offer her better than she was getting with you the pull to cheat may have been more than she could resist.
9. She was/is a thrill seeker: Some women cheat for the sake of cheating. She wanted some excitement and what better way to get her thrills than sex with someone other than her husband? This woman isn’t concerned with the harm she did. She wanted some fun and went after it. Not nice, not nice at all!
10. She didn’t feel emotionally stable in the marriage: If she is having mental health issues she may look outside herself and blame you for her problems. Instead of therapy to deal with the cause of her depression or anxiety she sought relief with another man. And, of course, this only led to more emotional instability.
11. She felt neglected by you: Do you work sixty hours a week? Watch football and play golf all weekend, every weekend? When is the last time you took her on a date or a road trip just the two of you? If she wasn’t getting the attention she craved from you that may be the reason she went elsewhere to get what she wanted.
12. She thinks you are a loser: You can’t hold down a job, you have no motivation to provide financially, emotionally or in any other way. If you’ve been sitting at home playing video games all day while she was out waiting tables, you should be surprised that she found someone new.
The above list is not meant to diminish her responsibility for choosing to cheat. It is also not meant to put blame on you for her cheating. Regardless of the problems in your marriage or, the problems with your wife’s ethical make-up she ultimately made the decision to have an affair instead of dealing with problems in a healthy manner. That is on her, not you!
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