Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. Relationship is the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.
Humans have a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship. These relationships involves feelings of liking and loving one or more people, romance, physical or sexual attraction, sexual relationships, or emotional and personal support between members. In such close affective connections, people tend to be sexually attracted to each other and therefore intimate by having sex.
Sex is the insertion and thrusting of a male’s penis, usually when erect into a female’s vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure. The desire to give sex meaning is an understandable important enterprise. Honestly approached, it can be a valuable exercise, disguised as the righteous desire to simply appreciate the meaning sex has or as the pursuit of restoring sex’s true meaning, it is a common source of conflict for both individuals and society. Sex only has meaning so far as we experience it. Its meaning is emergent, not objective. We discover the meaning of sex each time we have it, meaning that it only resides in our experiences. Most people need sex to have meaning because the alternative is too frightening.
In the course of our lives, we indulge into relationships which may sometimes lead to sexual intimacy. In high school I remember thinking sex, and everything about female sexuality should be easy. Surely if you were a well-adjusted woman, with a sense of self awareness and self-worth, you’d be able to seek and give fulfilment in the realm of physical intimacy. I knew there were books about reinstating your libido. I’d heard the adult women in my life whisper about lack of intimacy in their marriages. I’d even secretly watched an Oprah episode on the subject while my mum was taking a nap. But I didn't really get what the fuss was about. What I thought was so complicated. I was sure that women who had these experiences were actually doing something wrong. I dated this guy whom I was so fond of, but the problem was that we never got intimate. We dated for six months and he always complained of me starving him of his sexual desires. He got so furious and decided to end the relationship. He claimed I never loved him and that I was very wicked. His attitude made me think of him as an opportunist, who just wanted to have his way with me. He was never worth it anyway.
Few months later I meet this energetic tall looking handsome young man at a grocery shop while buying some stuff for my mum. He blew my mind away with his sweet talks and his caring attitude. We dated for a year and things just happened. We were so happy and fond of each other thus there was no day that we never communicated. I thought my relationship with my partner would have been so perfect after marriage, but my guess was wrong. The problem was that my husband was schooling full time, we had a baby and I had busy schedules at work which also worsen matters. I realize that we were drifting apart physically and emotionally. Our long goodnight kisses and physical intimacy had been a moment of communion, a time when just the two of us could walk away from the world and acknowledge or mutual love, respect and dedication to one another.
In our marriage, physical and emotional intimacy met hand in hand. When we kissed more, we talked more and vice versa. Our lack of physical intimacy had also resulted in lack of time with our best and truest selves. I was living in the same house as the man I loved, sleeping on opposite corners of the same bed, and yet I missed him. My heart was felt with fear and disappointment. Suddenly I knew what those women had been talking about all these years. I also realized why intimacy was very important in a relationship.
Written By Porshia Asiamah
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